The "s" on the end of "Personal thoughts" is clipped off...and you've GOT to run your stuff through a spell-check and grammar check...
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| Author: | Michael Dale Payne [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:47 am ] |
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Well after some delays and procrastination I finally have the basics of my web site up and running. Feel free to critique MP Hand-Grafted guitars |
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| Author: | Don Williams [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 3:56 am ] |
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The "s" on the end of "Personal thoughts" is clipped off...and you've GOT to run your stuff through a spell-check and grammar check...
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| Author: | Brock Poling [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:03 am ] |
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"Recent Work" I like the tone of your copy. I like luthier sites in the first person, not the 3rd. I think it feels like you have a greater connection b/w the audience and the luthier. |
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| Author: | Evan Gluck [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:03 am ] |
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Looks great Michael, the word "Recent work" is spelled "Resent work" I am sure you meant "Recent" Although I often "resent" my work too 
Great looking guitars. Best, Evan |
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| Author: | JJ Donohue [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:15 am ] |
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Good start, Michael. I really like the tone of your message. Yep...spell and grammar check would be my recommendation as well. Also, I don't like the "red" text on the blue background...it's disturbing to the eye. Best of luck to you...you are one of the most sincere, honest, sharing and hard-working builders I know. I hope this leads to success beyond your wildest expectations. |
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| Author: | letseatpaste [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:23 am ] |
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I like the layout, it's very easy to navigate. I'll humbly offer the following critiques/suggestions: - There are quite a few mispelled words and grammatical errors throughout, it might be good to find an English major or teacher to edit for spelling, grammar and clarity - It's a lot of text... I'd pick and choose a few things you want to focus on. Act like you're paying $$$'s for each word, and try to get the most for your money. |
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| Author: | WalterK [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:36 am ] |
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Hi Michael... All the Best of luck to you and your family. The website looks wonderful and the guitar presentation is indicative of your skills. All the best!! walter |
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| Author: | jfrench [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 4:52 am ] |
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Michael, Nicely done! Loved the segmented abalone rosette on the "resent" work page [really a great rosette]. Definitely as others have said, spell check it. You don't want people to think you're re-sending things. The only other things I'd say is that some of the pictures look like they haven't been resized and you just set the dimensions in the html (it kind of pixelates the purflings), and the main picture could be sharper, it looks like a smaller picture enlarged. |
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| Author: | Serge Poirier [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:00 am ] |
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Great improvements have been made to your site Michael, just a few more to go and you're all set, keep it up my good Man! 
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| Author: | L. Presnall [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:18 am ] |
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And do you play a few "minuets" at a time? or minutes? I ask, because it could be either!
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| Author: | SteveCourtright [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:33 am ] |
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I like it. I agree with the above about the typos. And your sincerity and honesty really shine through. It is a very personal site and that is also attractive to a potential buyer or a friend or both! Kudos! |
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| Author: | Michael Dale Payne [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:42 am ] |
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yep I play both 
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| Author: | MSpencer [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 5:42 am ] |
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MichaelP, moving in the right direction! I really like your approach to information and educating the customer on you, your approach, and what makes your instruments special. Mike |
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| Author: | Steve Saville [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:35 am ] |
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Michael, Very nice. I like it. Did you do it all yourself? I'm working on one now. Mind if I just copy yours? 
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| Author: | burbank [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:48 am ] |
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Michael, Lots of good stuff there! You, the builder really come through. One thing I would work on is the photo on the main page. It's message is a good one, but it's tone and composition don't relay that message as well as it could. It appears to be of low resolution as evidenced by the jaggedness of some lines in it. It seems to have a blue, cold cast to it. It could use some warming up. Also, the brace that you're carving is mostly covered by the navigation boxes. There's probably a very nice curve under there. Looks good, reads good. Great job! P. S. Maybe the image could focus more on the chisel working the wood rather than your able knuckles! |
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| Author: | Michael Dale Payne [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 9:16 am ] |
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Yep and it is a free site builder software and is somewhat limited in how you can arange thing but for the monthly price it will do for a while. |
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| Author: | Homeboy [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 12:19 pm ] |
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Looks good to me. I just built my website as well and it doesn't look nearly as composed/polished as yours. I really like your motto on each page of the site as well "Built One at a Time to be One of a Kind", is a cool saying. Great Job!!!! Homeboy |
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| Author: | gburghardt [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 7:26 pm ] |
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That is a great start. I echo folks' statements above about the sincerity. I like that you don't go into heavy selling phrases. Very honest, genuine discussion. I also think you could cut down the text in the personal thoughts. It fits well and has a great message, but with that length I found myself skimming. But... while skimming I noticed a particularly catchy line "I am by no means a philanthropist." Taken out of context that isn't a very comforting image. Perhaps working the idea that you don't give instruments away without being so blunt could be more effective. I think it is excellent though and I would love to play one of your guitars sometime. |
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| Author: | Tom Morici [ Wed Nov 29, 2006 8:01 pm ] |
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I can ehco what others have said, i think it is great. Time well spent, I like it!!! Tom |
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